February 2012
19 posts
Heather: So, I’ve been cooking a lot for Carl lately. I’ve screwed a few things up…
Me: What did you screw up?
Her: Well, I made him turkey burgers the other night, and he’s really more of a meat person.
Me: That’s not really screwing up…
Her: Well, then I had this leftover ravioli that I wanted to use that I put on top of the turkey burgers-
Me: You put...
“You can get addicted to a certain kinda...
1 tag
2 tags
The difference between the cats and the dog is that the cats race to get in front of me on the staircase and if I don’t wait for them, they’ll gladly trip me and look at me like, “You are so stupid. Ugh. Also, your hair looks ugly today.” While the dog always lets me go first and looks at me like, “I love you I love you I love you I love you!!!!111!”
I’m...
“My seat’s been taken by some sunglasses...
1 tag
Text messages
Me: What are you doing?
Coll: Oh you know. The usual. Enjoying marital bliss. I should have gotten a weiner dog instead of getting married.
